


It's Not About Angels

by Starlitandcoloring



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 3rd person pov, M/M, Out of Character, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 17:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6667042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlitandcoloring/pseuds/Starlitandcoloring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You probably know what it's like, to loose someone you love. It'll happened to mostly everybody at some point in their lifetime. The problem is Levi's lost Eren, the absolute love of his life because of one bad decision. Can Levi move on, can he give Eren up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not About Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Wow ok, so this is my first fanfic like ever so that's pretty rad. I want to thank anybody who gives this peice a chance (also to everyone who comments and leaves kudos, hint hint)  
> Song: Not about Angels- Birdy  
> Link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vj_VidtyaOc

__He could never understand it, not once in his tragic, screwed up, pathetic excuse for an existence had Levi Ackerman ever felt the harrowing guilt he'd felt the day Eren jaeger stepped out the door of their shared apartment.

It had been one night, he'd been out with Hanji. She'd insisted they they were going to meet up with some old friends at a local pub, a definite recipe for disaster.

Just when they thought its was a no show, Erwin fucking smith waltzes into the bar like he owned the place. Now having played quite a few drinking games with Hanji, Levi was pretty close to being blackout drunk. All while Erwin, Levi's manipulative, obsessive, high school sweetheart, was completely sober.

_We know full well there's just time,_  
_So is it wrong to dance this line,_  
_If your heart was full of love,_  
_Could you give it up?_

Now Levi knew full well what Erwin was capable of. He knew exactly how to push Levi's buttons, to make him do whatever Erwin wanted. And that's exactly how Erwin got Levi pinned against a grimy bar wall. How he gets him to walk out of the pub with Erwin's jacket slightly loosely around his shoulders, speech slurred. How he got Levi pressed onto the mattress as Erwin loomed over him like a ravenous predator. How he got Levi to—

He stopped the train of thought in its tracks. Regretting every second of it. The whole thing wasn't even consensual, but once eren had found out the next morning after Levi had come home with a lethal hangover and hickies painted all over his body. He had been the one to blame.

Of course he hadn't gone to comfort Eren, he hadn't apologized. No, he'd just stood there with a stoic expression while Eren poured out all his feelings, expressed his anger, absolutely fell apart. And what had Levi done, what he always did. Not act at all.

But this time it was different. This time it was the love of his life. The only person who'd been able to break down the walls he'd put up over years of hardships and too many bad experiences at a young age. He loved Eren, he loved Eren and it hurt watching him be torn apart. It hurt so bad.

_'Coz what about, what about Angels,_  
_They will come, they will go make us special,_  
_Don't give me up,_  
_Don't give me up._

The door clicked shut behind Eren. A horrible silence filled the room. Levi dropped to his knees, the hardwood floor splintering through his bones as he shook with trauma. He dug his hand through his clean cut black hair with such intensity that he thought he might bleed from his scalp.

He brought arms and elbows flying towards the ground in a fit of rage and sorrow. He crouched and pounded on the ground, letting out shrieking sobs into the floor. This was the third time he'd ever cried in his entire life. The first was when he lost his mother at the ripe old age of four years old. He'd sobbed for days and refused to come out of his room. The second was when he lost both Isabel and Farlan to dual scuicide at 18. Levi had been so mad at first. So angry he'd lost his two best friends, he never stopped hating himself, blaming himself. He was absolutely furious that they were both too poor to even afford a proper funeral.

This was now. After everything around him had gotten so much better, he had been on cloud nine, but now he was plummeting towards the concrete.

_How unfair, it's just our luck,_  
_Found something real that's out of touch,_  
_But if you searched the whole wide world,_  
_Would you dare let it go?_

The shrieking and sobbing stopped after awhile, leaving Levi a sniffly mess. He slowly picked his cold body from the floor. He remembered the warmth, Eren's warmth. The warmth he might never feel again. The way Eren's smile was undeniably contagious. The way his hair was always just a fluffy, brown, untameable mess. The way his eyes could change from a green yellow, to a beautiful turquoise blue at any given moment.

Levi began to walk, no, more like a careless stumble. He carelessly stumbled to the bedroom. Opening it he found all Eren's drawers pulled out in a stressed fit of rage and worry. A deep pang of guilt had his stomach sinking into the floor.

He moved not so swiftly to his own set of bedside drawers. They had been left completely untouched. He reached over to the top right drawer, noticing the bruises dotting his fist. He's gonna regret that later.

He carefully opened the drawer, ignoring the pain in his right hand. He glanced down, obviously searching for something and- where was it— there! He delicately plucked the small box from it larger container. On the outside it looked like any normal, old, jewelry box, it fit square in the palm of his hand. The box was wooden and had small, intricate leaf details covering the top. He opened it.

_'Coz what about, what about Angels,_  
_They will come, they will go make us special,_  
_Don't give me up,_  
_Don't give me up._

Instantly he felt that deep pang you get in your sinuses when you about to cry. Not the kind of guilt sadness, no. This was the kind of sad where it's because someone's been too strong for too long. Levi felt this, when he looked inside that box, its contents brought overwhelming emotion like he'd never experienced before.

Inside that box was a ring, Eren jaegers ring. It was a rusty gold color that reflected the tone of his eyes. It wasn't a normal ring either, it was carved into a key shape, Levi didn't know why but it just kind of fit Eren's radiant glow. Levi had the whole thing planned out. He would take Eren to the ocean, the brat always said he loved the ocean. As they walked along the boardwalk, sun setting in the backround, Levi would get down on one knee. He would tell Eren everything he loved about him, every single little thing. Then he would take out the ring And propose.

Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes, dripping onto the small, wooden box. Oh god no, he thought. No, please no. I fucked up so bad, he's never gonna forgive me! The thoughts raced through his mind, burning into his skull. "Please," his voice cracked and wavered like old paper. "Please don't leave me." The whispered plea resonated through his apartment.

Eren jaeger, the stupid brat that stole his heart and left him. But Eren was not to blame for the whole conflict. It could never have been those beautiful multicolored eyes of his that would betray Levi's trust. Eren's soft graceful hands that intertwined perfectly with Levi's would never go behind his back. His untamable hair, his aggressive nature, everything about the stupid kid. Levi had fallen head over heels for all of it. Goddamnit, his grip on the box tightened as tears spilled from puffy, stele eyes in the memory of a time he'd never get back. A deep ache in his chest stopped him from hearing the quiet knocking on the door.

After a minute or two the knocker let themselves in. Tiptoeing the intruder made their way through the house. As they walked, they noticed a faint speckle of blood on the floor from Levi's tantrum. As the visitor drew ever closer to the bedroom, faint gasping breaths spilled from the other being that dwelled in the household. Faint whispers quietly repeated words that sounded like 'please' and 'don't leave me, don't give up on me'.

The figure, rather clumsily tripped over an old shirt that lay astrew, alerting the other of their presence. Levi quickly put the box down, rubbing his eyes weakly. He made short work of racing into the next room. The intruder tried to pick themselves up from the mess but when they met Levi's stare, they froze completely. "Eren," Levi's voice was barely a whisper against Eren's yelling hours previous.

Shocked, suprised, he couldn't put the feeling into words. Eren jaeger, the boy he'd fallen madly in love with, was sat on the floor of their apartment in a tangle of limbs and a dirty shirt.

Eren couldn't believe what he saw. Levi looked absolutely horrible. He has darks bags under puffy, damp, Steele eyes. Both his arms were covered in bruises, a small cut just below his thumb was dripping with blood. His hair was almost as messed up as Eren's, tear tracks painted his face as he looked at Eren in suprise.

Eren quickly got up, striding over to Levi, who stood frozen in the doorway. For the first time, Eren had seen Levi as vulnerable. As someone capable of sorrow, of anger, of regret. For the first time Eren had seen Levi as completely human. "Hanji told me everything," he mumbled, Levi stayed silent. "She told me about Erwin, about what—" His words trailed off into an inaudible mumble.

"Eren, why'd you come back?"  
"B-because, umm, uh..."  
Eren knew exactly why he'd come back, anyone with half a brain knew why Eren had gone back, but putting it into words proved more difficult than expected.

"Don't accidentally shit yourself thinking." Levi retorted, bringing Eren out of his current thinking state. He inhaled sharply, pulling his string of thoughts together.

"Because I wanted to give you a chance."

' _Coz what about, what about Angels,_  
_They will come, they will go make us special._

Levi swayed, dipped, and began to fall. Eren noticed instantly and caught him, wrapping firm arms around his back. Paused in time, just breathing, just one. Levi's hands fiercely gripped Eren's green shirt. He brought his face into the crook of Eren's neck. He slipped back into his native language, mumbling French phrases as he tugged Eren close.

"Je t'aime," he mumbled. Eren smiled trying to remember what the phrase ment. "je vous ai manqué s'il vous plaît dont leave." The raven haired man spoke with a fierce intensity and Eren recognized it, although he didn't quite understand what Levi was saying.

The brunet took a short pause, delving into memories of the past before moving to Levi's ear. "İki bu oyunu oynayabilir." He whispered, ending the sentence with a giggle.

"Vous dork," the shorter of the two laughed. Eren broke from the hug, bringing his hands to Levi's shoulders and taking in the sight.

Levi's face was scrunched up into a glowing laugh. Dimples dotted the corners of his lips and wrinkled fell onto the corners of his puffy eyes and he laughed.

"Hey, hold on I've gotta grab something from the bedroom," he said, rushing into the previously mentioned room. His eyes were slowly scanning for a tiny, wooden, leaf decorated box.

_It's not about, not about Angels, Angels_

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I'd love to thank anyone who took a chance on this peice. I wanted to write something that would draw out emotions. Also I wrote this whole thing on an I pod touch so I apologize for spelling errors and I will try to fix any that I find. I used google translate for when they start speaking in French and Turkish. Finally I do not own any characters, that's all Hajime Isayama, and I bid everyone a nice day.


End file.
